am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You are a genius and a whore.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
