I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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