i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
