Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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