3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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