so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
