at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
God, I missed his penis.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
