Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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