Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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