I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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