Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
