She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
