Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
