Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
