the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
