i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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