If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Found the puke drawer
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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