I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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