i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
