i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize