I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize