You really coming over, don't trick.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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