they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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