That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize