Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
