i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
