very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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