office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
