If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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