I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
