Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
