i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just had sex bonerless
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
