i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize