Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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