I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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