The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
