I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
