I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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