After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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