found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
