I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
