next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
