Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
