weddingsv make me drug and hornr
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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