Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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