I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
