So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
handjob tips. give me some.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
