The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
