What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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