Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
