it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
