I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
