white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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