Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
