I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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