if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize