It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
