Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
