no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
